Let’s for a second pretend Dean is a real person, and analyse for a bit his physical reaction to this sentence:
“You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you?”
There’s a hint of a wistful smile and an eye movement associated with constructed auditory thoughts, sounds he never heard before — he’s imagining how it would sound like if Castiel told him he’s in love with him.
Can I jump in on this “crackpot meta”, as you call it? XD!
Because yours made me all kdjsfjhgkdjhfg with feels, but then I had my own interpretation and wanted to share along with yours.
Okay, here goes.
So, I have it in my head (from what we see with characters like Jo, etc) that Dean is the type of person who can always tell when someone is crushing on him. However, he is also the type of person who - as more and more shit happens - doesn’t understand WHY people feel this way about him.
Without going into a whole Dean meta about his self-loathing (we all know that’s been done umpteen million times), I’ll just say that what I see in this moment is Dean’s outward attempt at playing it off like “yeah, okay. HA, HA; UR HILARIOUS, shaddup”. Notice I said “attempt” because what I also see is that he fails somewhere in the middle of attempting this look and that the end result is the expression we can all see in the gif - which, to me, says that somewhere in him he knows Castiel loves him (that he must what with all he’s done for them) but that Dean still can’t understand it. Because he never can. Because he hates himself.
So we’re left with that almost!look. That “yeah, maybe - just maybe - he does; and I always felt it, but I never let myself admit that I know because then it’d get dangerous; so let me just try and play it off like this is nonsense”. Because that’s Dean’s entire relationship conundrum in a thought process.
……………And there’s my random side-along Dean!meta for this moment. LMAO! kfgjh I can see yours too and to be honest, I’d much prefer it because it’s less depressing. XD! But I couldn’t stop myself from venting Dean!feels. It just happens sometimes.
just leave me here to die of Destiel and Cockles feels!
Misha Collins makes his first appearance in Season 8 as Castiel. It may be brief and all in Purgatory flashbacks, but they are emotional. He is subdued, more like the old Castiel than he was in the later half of season 7. Collins makes sure to connect with Ackles while on screen, showing us in body language and voice that Castiel still cares about Dean—-even if we’re being led to believe that he abandoned his friend. He has remorse painted in his facial expressions. The fear and desperation we’re left with in the final scene leaves us heartbroken—-and Collins sells it with the pleading in his voice.
So, I just want to point out that this is the first time Dean admits that he needs Cas. And I’m not just referring to him saying it out loud.
Dean has been incredibly capable of fending off monsters in Purgatory.
And Benny already has the escape route covered.
There are no cases that require angelic assistance, no minds to Windex and no places to zap to.
Dean doesn’t need to use Cas the way he used him on Earth.
Dean has been doing just fine surviving by himself in Purgatory.
And Cas, himself, is a walking target.
But even after everything is laid out before him, Dean still says that he needs Cas.
Life be damned, Dean needs Cas.
And that’s the canon bottom line.
And that’s what turned out to be the good thing about them being split up in Purgatory. Dean wants to be with Cas not because he relies on him, but because he cares about him.